I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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