No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
