i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
