captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize