I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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