3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
