this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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