I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
