Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
