Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
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I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
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A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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