Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
