is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
