He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think my moral compass just broke
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
