I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
