so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize