I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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