I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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