She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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