What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
