end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
