I'm gonna have a badass scar
My liver just broke up with me...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
