the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
