college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
try to milk me bitch
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