Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
