Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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