brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
one two three fourrrrnication!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Randomize
