You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
