yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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