drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
