Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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