You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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