I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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