You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
