i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
