As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
