I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You were trust falling into bushes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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