Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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