Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
