why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
