Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
