singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
