That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it fun? or sober?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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