I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Less talking, more tequila
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Send help, water and tortillas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
