i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
