Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize