Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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