It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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