There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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