She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
