i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Moan for me like Helen Keller
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
