I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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