Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
