mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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