Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
