You're a womanizer and a bitch.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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