winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
