I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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