I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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