idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
