I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
